Once Broken
by Atheniandream
Summary: Broken......and for the first time....


Title: Once Broken  
Author: atheniandream/Jawbreakerchick/Paisleychick, my alter egos :)  
Email: atheniandream@aol.com  
Content Warnings: Angst, Romance, other stuf!!!  
Pairings: Sam/Jack  
Spoilers: PARADISE LOST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!PARADISE LOST!!!!!!!!!!  
Season: Six  
Rating: do not have a clue!  
Summary: Broken......and for the first time....  
Author's notes: hope you like it, gotta feed to get the rest!!! HE HE HE  
Disclaimer: Stargate Sg-1 and its characters are the property of   
Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA,  
Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is   
for entertainment purposes only and no money  
exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original   
characters, situations, and story are the property  
of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the   
consent of the author.  
=====================================================================  
  
Once Broken  
  
She waited.  
Her hands and nails had stiffened, pressing hard into the skin of her   
arms.  
Feeling helpless, worthless, and shaken by the news.  
She waited.  
No one looked at her. The shock and bewilderment on base had begun   
to die down. Because,  
Finally.  
Major Samantha Carter.  
Had broken.  
For the first time, she screwed up, she let her guard down,   
And him, she let HIM down.  
And he payed for it.  
Almost with his life, he paid for it.  
Now leaving an undenyable hollow in her soul,   
She waited.  
'The birds may never utter a song, and my life will be for nothing.  
But I will wait. Even when I am gone'  
And she waited.  
As the iris opened, the womhole appeared.  
She knew, that it meant hope.  
Salvation.  
She waited.  
Her eyes, narrowed, glaised and blurry under the lights in the   
control room.  
In a sudden flash,   
A figure limped threw the Gate.  
And looked at her.  
Blank confused and empty. Like nothing could be said, done nor   
forgotten.  
Forgive and forget doesn't always go as planned.  
His eyes, raw and solid.  
Drenched in hazed anger and hurt.  
His gase so powerful. That she ignored the world around her.  
And left him,   
Standing.  
The rest around him,   
Sensed it too. They knew thier looks from a mile off. Knew what they   
meant. Only,  
"She's had a rough time Colonel." Jonas tried to explain.  
This ran deeper.  
"Ditto."  
  
=========================================================  
The deepest feelings, are meant to be the most powerful,   
and influential of all. Yet cuase the most destruction..  
=========================================================  
  
She craved solitude. The kind where you can run for miles and never   
come within an inch of a   
person.  
Not even touch them.  
She couldn't be more raw, more bare, more strangled and claustrophobic   
than she was right now.  
Her quarters were the only place safe.  
Untouched.  
Memories DIDN'T linger here. The couldn't...  
  
Sitting on her bed, she took in a breath, harsh and cold.  
Her eyes still puffy, and her head swimming, in just about anything   
bad.  
Guilt.  
Self-doubt  
Denial.  
Hate.  
Passion.  
Anger.  
Loss.  
Pain...  
Everything and nothing, all at once.  
  
For a brief moment, she didn't care if her was standing behind her,   
neck deep in hurt and   
resentment. She couldn't look at him.  
But. He was there.  
Standing behind her, neck deep in hurt and resentment.  
"Carter."  
Turning to face him, still unwilling to meet his gaze,  
"Sir,"  
"You left, back there. the uh. They siad you've had a rough time."  
She tried to look up at him. Meet those eyes, but instead, focusing   
on the ugly   
bruise against his face.  
"Yea, not so good."  
"Ditto." A caring remark turned into a personal jab at her, causing   
her to turn away from him.  
"What do you want me to say?" The sound in her voice was sheltered by   
fear.  
Fear of what?  
Of losing THIS.  
Her eyes met.  
Oh god, they met his with such, such pain, everything.  
But Nothing returned to her.  
With a look of disgust, her turned to walk away, walk away from this,   
Whatever THIS is....  
He never answered her question.  
His silence, only fuelled her distress.  
Eyes filling, red and at breaking point.  
"I'm Sorry okay. I'm sorry what I did to you, That I left you there,"  
  
Crying  
  
"I'm sorry that I broke that gate, I'm sorry that I let him get my   
Zat,"  
  
Hurting  
  
"I'm sorry that I've been HURTING Like this becuase I've tired to   
bust my ass to help you!"  
  
Answering Back.  
  
"You weren't that one stuck on some age old PlANET CARTER!!!   
Stuck trying to get home!!"  
The Anger in her voice matched his only too well,  
  
"I'm SORRY!!!,"  
  
Screaming..  
  
"I'm sorry that I couldn't okay, I'm sorry That for the first time   
when I tried to fix   
things? I couldn't. That It's my fault and I've been a bitch to   
everyone becuase everyone knew,"  
  
Admitting things.  
  
"Eveybody knew, that I did it. I was the reason why you weren't here.   
And the worst part is that  
I doubted myself, I didn't know anything. accept,"  
  
Loving  
  
"Accept, that I was in love with you, and I LOST YOU..."  
  
Accepting.  
  
"And that? that scared me the most.....okay? I'm sorry.....  
..im sorry."  
Her eyes, barely distinguishable.  
Her face, red and ice cold.  
Her lips sore, and screming,  
For the first time.  
Major Samantha Carter, broke.  
She was broken.  
And talked herself bare,  
naked,   
and told him the worst about herself.........  
The TRUTH.  
He couldn't feel or hear anything,  
No Sf's banging to the sound of Screaming,  
No General outside, trying to open a locked door.  
Not anything at all,  
Anything accept his arms around her,   
And her crying.  
And crying,  
  
Crying,  
What broke him?  
Her. That's what broke him,  
  
The thought of her pain,  
And the fact that she loved him.   
It hurt tht much.  
  
Time wounds all heels...if you keep running....  
  
What if you stop?  
  
===============================================================  
He back? what about Jonas???  
===============================================================  
  
did ya like??? I could have written more, but I tought i'd leave   
it here  
  
Can't wait to see paradise lost, 


End file.
